Brunton Firelight Windproof Lighter and LED Light[from Stuff]

Fire good! Flick open the cover of this palm-size lighter, click a button and it’s flame on. Fueled by the miracle known as butane, the lighter burns strong even in 80 mph winds. You’ll need a torch that strong atop Mt. Washington in New Hampshire, the site of the fiercest surface gusts ever recorded on earth outside of Al Franken’s yelling at a crippled old nun who voted for George Bush. If Al’s flapping does overpower the Brunton’s flame, flash the single LED light (battery included) directly into the lens of his Coke-bottle glasses. Sure hope he likes his corneas well done.

Cost: $40 @ Campsaver.com