By Bradley Hasemeyer
on 6.2.08

Part 1 | The 10 Day Master Cleanse – Part 2

GP.FEATURE.gifIt’s not a diet. It’s a cleanse. Well, fellow GP’ers: I did it. I took the plunge and did a 10-day Master Cleanse. You might not be in the know as to this celebrity-styled body makeover secret but rest assured I deprived myself of food over the past 10 days so you don’t have to. That is, unless you want to lose 14 pounds, feel lean, more aware, alive and thankful for food&emdash;your call.

10-day-master-cleanse-ingredient-kit.jpgLest you believe this challenge even approached easy or convenient you should know I love food. I love all the aspects: the taste, texture and smell as well as the social aspect and rhythm of the eating experience. I have worked in a number of different restaurants, started a boutique catering company and cook for friends all the time. Why then would someone who loves something this much walk away for 10 days? Why indeed!

I decided to try this cleanse for a number of reasons: 1. I felt like if I restart my computer, flush my car’s fuel system and get my teeth cleaned every 6 months then resetting my insides every 27 years is probably a good idea too 2. I was curious how it worked and 3. I wanted to see if I was up for the challenge.

The “Master Cleanse,” created in the 1940s by Stanley Burroughs, is a diet consisting of a “Lemonade” drink consumed 6-12 times daily. That’s all. No food. Nothing else. This Lemonade concoction of 2 tbs Grade B maple syrup, 2 tbs fresh lemon juice, 1/10 tsp cayenne pepper and 10 oz of water is all you get. Additionally to aid the flushing of toxins from the system, an herbal tea laxative is to be consumed each night followed by a quart (yep) of warm (uh huh) uniodized sea-saltwater in the morning. Yum.

The following is a brief summary of my past 10 days on the world-renowned and oft celebrity-hyped detoxifier known as the Master Cleanse.

Day 1: Thursday - Today was hard. I had a headache working at the restaurant most of the day and put too much cayenne pepper in my drink. Already I am annoyed at how much energy it takes to make this drink; measure and pour the syrup, cut and strain the lemons, measure the cayenne, add the water. I drank lots of water in addition to the Lemonade and it pretty much goes right out.

I am very tired and have little energy and it’s not like, “been a long day” tired. I am physically exhausted from my 16-hour work day and crashed at about 10:00p.m. (with 2 hours left at work).

I took my herbal tea laxative tonight and actually enjoyed the taste of something different.

Day 2: Friday - I woke up a few times during the night. My throat was really sore like I was getting sick. I threw up from both ends early this morning and went back to bed.

I took the saltwater drink which was disgusting but within the hour had completely washed my insides and cleaned out what the laxative loosened. Strange feeling but it felt good.

I played Frisbee this afternoon for about an hour and have not had headaches today so far. I am hungry but drink my drink and that helps&emdash;though I’m already not thrilled about the lack of flavor variation. I might try limes to replace the lemons because the book says that’s o.k.

Never has working in a restaurant been harder. Not only am I tired but I am serving delicious foods to people all night long. Interestingly I am craving a Roasted Beet Salad with a side of Salmon instead of our Fried Chicken or Burger and Fries.

My mouth feels very pasty and my teeth feel like they have some coating on them. Also my tongue is fuzzy and white.

Took my laxative tonight.

Day 3: Saturday - Felt awesome in the morning. I awoke with energy and lightness. I didn’t drink my saltwater.

I played 3 hours of 2-man volleyball in Hermosa Beach in 90 degree weather and then worked from 3:30 till 11:00 feeling good until the end of the night. Sitting down was all I could think about doing while running around giving people food. I don’t think I drank enough water playing volleyball today.

Took my laxative tonight.

Day 4: Sunday - Saltwater in the morning and nothing really happened. It was cold water because that seemed easier to drink than a quart of warm saltwater but it wasn’t nearly as effective; felt pretty good but a little weak. Went to church and went to the bathroom once. Came home, laundry, e-mails, clean house, work from 3:30-9:30 and was tired but drank more Lemonade and that quelled my hunger and gave me more energy.

Took my laxative tonight and looked forward to the new taste. I also began TiVo-ing Rachel Ray’s 30-Minute Meals and started watching an episode at the end of my day with my laxative tea. There was something soothing about the show&emdash;or maybe that was just the laxative.

Day 5: Monday - Woke up feeling grey&emdash;feel like my 100% is now about 80%. My mouth is less dry and seems to be slowly returning to pink. Took saltwater this a.m. and it’s taking time to go through me. I am sore from volleyball and randomly my knee hurts really bad. I don’t know if its longer to heal or if&emdash;as the book claims&emdash;old injuries return ****.

I decided to try to workout today and have felt o.k. about my energy most of the day. I am feeling removed from food, however, and really desire something to eat. I have been watching Food Network like it’s porn for me right now. My tastes have changed a little and I would kill for a banana, green apple, roasted beets, etc. I realize how much I love food for food. I miss cooking, I miss eating and I miss the chance to eat with others, the social element of it.

Laxative tonight: It’s now the culinary highlight of my day.

Day 6-10 Thursday.

ADVENTURE IS ONE CLICK AWAY

Subscribe to GP for a daily dose of the best in gear, adventure, design, tech and culture. 5pm sharp.

FILED UNDER