No, it’s not what NASA nicknamed Neil Armstrong when he was crabby. The Surly Moonlander ($2,350), a cartoonish-looking bicycle in Surly’s new ultra-fat-tire series, is meant to go where no bike has gone before. The Moonlander doesn’t just survive off the beaten path — it excels.

This Surly 4130 CroMoly steel-framed beast wears 4.7-inch wide donut tires that would make Homer Simpson drool and massive 100mm Clown Shoe rims. At low air pressure, these fatties grip everything you’ll encounter while cruising the bush: dreaded wet roots, slimy rocks, treacherous sand and — oh yes — even snow. A Shimano SLX front derailleur, Shimano Deore XT rear derailleur and Avid disc brakes come standard on the full kit; you can equip the Moonlander as geared or single speed. The unique Mr. Whirly Offset Double crank system moves the chain line farther away from the frame, accommodating the huge tires. Even with all these modifications, don’t make the mistake of thinking the bike will do wonders on water. Jesus still has the monopoly on that move.

Learn More: $2,350