Open someone’s beer — a cute girl’s, a mentor’s, even just a new acquaintance’s — and you gain some clout. You’re a mover and a shaker. Someone will ask if anyone’s got an opener and the drinker you just enabled will vouch for you. You’ll feel a burst of pride and realize that all of a sudden you’re a somebody. People are looking your way and noticing your style, your panache. You’re changing the dynamic of this party. You’re The Opener. Yeah, you want to be that guy.
OUR PICKS: The Army Man ($11): for a guy who has a sense of humor but isn’t a clown. | The pragmatist with a minimalist wallet can find brewski solace in the Kegworks Credit Card ($7). | Dropcatch’s Pilsner Opener ($65) should go perfectly in your Frank Lloyd Wright-designed home. | The WearSmith Topless ($45) looks like a key to an ancient pyramid, which is cool. | For the wounder of liquid soldiers, the Hermetus Opener and Resealer ($9) alleviates some shame. | The Makr Antique Brass Key ($11) is “made to blend in with keys, not to be made into a key.” Damn. | Oh look Todd, the perfect opener for your platinum-plated beverage cart on your yacht! (Tiffany’s Sterling Silver Opener, $270.) | Remove a wheel, then remove a cap with the Milwaukee Bike Co Titanium Bottle Wrench ($26). | Patagonia’s Belt Opener ($29) holds your pants up around your ever-plumpening beer gut. | The Yeti Bottle Key ($10) opens bottles and proves you don’t need anything fancy to get kicks.