Two things created the speed-junkie wet dream E55 AMG in 2003: brash German engineering and a rejection of sensibility. Nearly ten years and two generations of E-Classes later, Affalterbach is using the 2014 Mercedes-Benz E63 AMG S 4Matic Wagon ($102,000) to answer the question, “Why can’t I have more horsepower than a Ferrari 458 and get to 60 mph a full second quicker than a Porsche 911 while carrying my family and all their luggage to the airport?” And as proper journalists do, we felt inclined to test this do-anything family-hauler freak of engineering nature by loading it up with our production gear, killing the traction control and ripping loose on a wide-open dry lake bed. Needless to say, it passed with flying (and silty) colors.