Be a Better Man in 30 Days | Day 3: Know How to Say Thanks Through Writing
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Being raised in the south, I was taught that no matter how far electronic communication might advance over the next century, nothing quite shows thanks and appreciation like a handwritten note. Call it old fashioned. Call it outdated. Call it true.
Why is a handwritten communique so different? Taking the time to sit down and write something with your own hand takes effort, a tangible quality that shines through to the recipient. Unlike email, text messages, and phone calls, writing by hand requires personal thought and demands that you stop doing everything else (if only for a moment) to focus only on communicating your gratitude. It’s a very powerful notion, indeed.
Look, we know that handwriting might intimidate those of you who forgot the art of writing by hand the day you touched a Blackberry QWERTY pad, but, honestly, it’s not that hard. Think back to those youthful golden years in writing class and recall your cursive. Yes, cursive (gasp).
Writing in print may be your strength, but when it comes to penmanship, print just isn’t the same as script. Remember, this is a note of thanks, not a grocery list. Worried you might mess up? Take the time to think out your letters and practice writing legibly by composing a draft. Sure that means you’ll have to stop your hectic life for even longer, but it’ll ensure you don’t come off as a fool in the final product. Professionalism is often about perception, isn’t it?
What To Use:
Obviously, the stationary you write on can make just as much of an impression as the words you say. Does that mean you need to analyze it like business cards a la American Psycho? No. But people can definitely notice the difference between dime store stationary and something personalized to you.
Keep in mind that the ideal stationary should strike a fine balance between being memorable yet polished, and, as designers like to say, white space is always your friend. You can never go wrong with something basic in the white to off white color range with your name printed on it. Mailing the note in a matching envelope is also a must. Not doing so equates to serving a fine Bordeaux in a Burger King cup.
If you’re little more daring, then the sky’s the limit in terms of finding a design to fit any personality. Be aware though that being unique can go too far. Judge what’s appropriate based on what your relationship is with the recipient, and if need be have multiple sets. One for close friends and family, and another for business. The same goes for stationary that adds a dash of humor like these Man Note’s shown right. Sending a grass covered envelope with included lawn mower stationary is fine for your college roomie and best bud. Not so for your mother-in-law.
What you write with, though less important, also should be considered. A Sharpie or a purple Crayola crayon (Eric’s writing implement of choice), for instance, can definitely send the wrong message. Of course, we’ll always recommend owning a good pen like the Waterman Hemisphere or Namiki Falcon, but any good fine point roller ball should do the trick. Just be wary of smearing. If it happens, you’re starting all over.
The Bling:
As it is with anything, there are all manner of “accessories” to handwritten notes that have their time and place. Printed return mailing labels or customized address stamps, personalized wax seals, etc. are all possibilities, but by no means necessary. I’ve always felt simple is best, but the choice to integrate these features is really a matter of personal discretion.
When To Write:
I’ve often been asked by friends about what kind of thank you situations merit sending a written thank you note. The truth is, gentlemen, that there is no golden rule. Personally, I come from the school of thought that really nothing is out of bounds, and that being overly thoughtful never hurts. If you hear a voice in your head questioning whether you should, do it. There’s no need to finally scribble out your first novel. Length isn’t the point. Though I hate being cliche, in the realm of thank you notes, it really is the thought that counts.
Where To Buy:
If you’re looking to pick up some stationary, below is a list of links we’ve put together for great resources online. Know of others? Leave the link the comments section and we’ll be sure to throw it in.
- Alden Grace
- Assouline
- Crane
- Expressionery
- Man Notes
- The Mandate Press
- Elum Designs
- Sparks Stationary
- Yee-Haw Industries
Let’s continue the conversation. When do you write, if at all? Any particular people or situations you feel it appropriate? Share your thoughts below (with links to any personal favorites) and help your fellow Gear Patrol reader.
Hey Ben, as a fellow southerner, you just made my mom proud! Great post!
Great thoughts here, especially in the business world - it's implications build great rapport.
Definitely a good idea. It always adds a much more personal touch and can really set you apart from other candidates interviewing for the same position.
I couldn't agree more with the sentiment behind this advice. Even better, mad love for Yee-Haw Industries, a great shop in downtown Knoxville. Heck yeah!
hand written notes are very personable and professional, and i think it is awesome that you wrote a post on this. when going through my grandfather's old things i found stacks and stacks of hand written letters from friends and family. so much more character was visible though actual "written" letters, and it is sad to think most of our correspondence is now accomplished via keyboard. thanks for the links to the stationary; i've been meaning to get some personalized stuff for awhile now.
I recently sent hand written thank you notes to everyone that sponsored me during a charity bike ride. I cannot begin to tell you the positive feedback I have received from them. Not only was it the appropriate thing to do, but it will make asking for donations easier next year!
Great post! Whether for business or personal, mastering hand-written notes will pay rich dividends in a man's life. I use them for all occasions - no matter how big or small. Many times the idea alone of putting pen to paper to express gratitude, congrats and sympathy induces a minor panic attack. So my tip to you is just remember that less is more. I've recently come across the book "Toasts & Tributes: A Gentleman's Guide to Personal Correspondence and the Noble Tradition of the Toast." It offers very valuable insight into personal correspondence, along with great examples of what to write for any imaginable occasion and better yet, what not to write - I've caught myself referencing this book on multiple occasions each week. Naturally, the authors are from Tennessee. Pick it up here: http://www.amazon.com/Toasts-Tributes-Gentlemans-...
Great post! Whether for business or personal, mastering hand-written notes will pay rich dividends in a man's life. I use them for all occasions - no matter how big or small. Many times the idea alone of putting pen to paper to express gratitude, congrats and sympathy induces a minor panic attack. So my tip to you is just remember that less is more. I've recently come across the book "Toasts & Tributes: A Gentleman's Guide to Personal Correspondence and the Noble Tradition of the Toast." It offers very valuable insight into personal correspondence, along with great examples of what to write for any imaginable occasion and better yet, what not to write - I've caught myself referencing this book on multiple occasions each week. Naturally, the authors are from Tennessee. Pick it up here: http://www.amazon.com/Toasts-Tributes-Gentlemans-...
Naturally.
Ben great post. Relearning cursive is definitely key. I would through is Embossed Graphics as a good place to get some stationary. The prices are reasonable and the quality is very good http://www.embossedgraphics.com/
Ben great post. Relearning cursive is definitely key. I would through is Embossed Graphics as a good place to get some stationary. The prices are reasonable and the quality is very good http://www.embossedgraphics.com/
Ben great post. Relearning cursive is definitely key. I would through is Embossed Graphics as a good place to get some stationary. The prices are reasonable and the quality is very good http://www.embossedgraphics.com/
another place for some stationary is vistaprint.com.
Thanks for the tip. I'll work on adding it in.
Great post. Keeps us in touch with our human side.
Thanks for the link, I'll add it in. Btw I think embossed stationary is a really nice touch as well.
Everyone can always use a little help figuring out what to say. Great tip.
In a time where competition in the job market is so fierce a personal touch may just what you need to stand out and be remembered. Who knows it could very well result in a call back. With interviews time is critical so you may actually have to hand deliver it to the front desk, but it does save on the postage. I found stationary to match my resume paper, just another cue to help them remember me better.
I know, Write?
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May I add that writing is great for relationships as well. If you are away from your girl for an extended period of time, whether on business or in school, send her a hand-written letter instead of an email. Emails are virtual, they don't really exist and, therefore, get deleted with one click of a mouse. Letters are material pieces that she will keep. She may read it 40 years down the line and be reminded of the fine gentleman you are.
On a personal note: I am currently sharpening up my old cursive skills to write a very important letter to my ex. We've been broken for over 4 years now, but I recently began talking to her again. I'm getting signals from her that she may still be interested in me. This letter will be an attempt to create a second spark. She will recieve it before the summer's end. Wish me luck!!