Be a Better Man in 30 Days | Day 19: Know How To Handle A Fight
Disclaimer: Gear Patrol neither endorses nor supports any form of fighting. That said, Gear Patrol is fully aware that if warranted, you as a man, have the right to protect yourself. This includes the rapid resolution of an assailant’s attack.
Fighting can be a bit of a taboo subject in our culture. On the one hand we love GTA, Fight Club, and the UFC, but the first time elementary school boys get into a fisticuffs, we put them into anger management therapy. Gone are the days when two guys could get into a fistfight over a legitimate dispute without a lawyer or an assault charge sneaking into the mix. Flying in the face of this, Gear Patrol (and I think every self-respecting man) recognizes that you still need to know how to handle yourself should the situation arise. Enter, “Prevent, Provoke(d), and Prevail”, day 19 of the 30 Days To Be A Better Man Initiative.
Prevent
First off, regardless of whether you’re a Pikey from Snatch or a Clay Aiken-lookalike, the only way to guarantee a win in a fight is not to get in one. That is to say, your best bet is prevent a confrontation. If someone bumps into you at a bar and spills your drink, thumping his head doesn’t prove anything except that you broke GP’s #1 rule… don’t be a douchebag (see page bottom left). For the most part let things slide; it may be easier said than done at the end of dollar pitcher night, but imperative. At the opposite end of the spectrum is someone else being aggressive towards you. If you did something stupid like spilled a drink on someone’s girlfriend, apologize sincerely, and disengage. Don’t turn your back while disengaging, keep your hands held in a apologetic (palms out) non-threatening manner. This not only gives the impression that you’re backing down and hopefully appeases the douche hassling you, but it keeps your hands ready for action if need be.
Provoke(d)
At this point a fight is looming inevitably. Either you have inadvertently provoked someone, or someone has pushed the red zone button for you. Also, this is the point you want to remember that you have no idea how far the other person is willing to go, (e.g. pull a knife, hit you with a cue ball) so we’re shooting to quickly engage and incapacitate. In either fight situation assume/continue in your non-threatening posture, but start moving towards him. Keep talking and saying things like “I think we can work this out.” The point here is to close the gap while lulling your adversary into a false sense of security.
Prevail:
Now it’s go time. Staying on your feet and slugging it out like you see on TV is stupid. All you’ll get is a boxer’s fracture and a long fight. Once you’re within reaching distance grab his collar or ears and head butt him. The goal here is to drive your forehead through his nose. Don’t stop with that, move right to a football tackle, staying low and driving with your legs. You want to take your opponent to the ground and be on top of him. It’s very difficult to stage an effective attack from your back unless you’re BJ Penn, and if someone’s on their stomach they’re in trouble. If he’s still conscious, bounce his head of the ground, he’ll either get knocked out or give up. Keep in mind the goal is to incapacitate, not to pull an American History X on the guy. A couple of other dirty tricks are the throat punch, and elbow strike. Use in if/when necessary.
Every situation is different. 99.9% aren’t worth fighting about. Unless you or someone you love is physically threatened, think hard before starting a fight. Its consequences can change your life. I worked as a bouncer in college and lost my romantic view of a fight when I saw a guy get hit in the face with a pint glass because he politely and respectfully struck up a conversation with a woman who turned out to have a real possessive boyfriend. It wasn’t pretty and the poor guy will never look the same. Not too mention the legal trouble the assailant got in.
Let’s continue the conversation. Have you ever been in a fight, or have stories of a douchebag provoking you? Share them, and the resolutions, below.
One time some douchebag at a bar called my girlfriend "that slut with the small tits", for no reason at all – i had just me him and he said it to piss me off. So I spit in his face and walked away while his friends held him back. Much better than going to jail or getting a fine. And more satisfying.
I've studied Taekwondo for several years and the headbutt-tackle advice here is the last thing I'd do.
I would, however, strongly second the advice about walking away from any physical confrontation. The only reason for physical engagement is if you or someone else is in real physical danger. Name-calling doesn't count: tell them you don't give a shit what they think and walk away. It's hard, but you'll look like the bigger man.
Here's what's wrong with the headbutt-tackle strategy: it's easy to get the headbutt wrong if you're not used to fighting—if your opponent is (and you can never tell just by looking at someone), then they can easily move faster than you and put an elbow or shoulder in the way of your face or subtly change the angle of their head such that you'll break your own nose. It's very easy to "telegraph" a headbutt—e.g., by pulling your head back, accidentally signalling what you're going to do. Just fractions of a second are enough for someone used to fighting—or otherwise very aware of how people move—to spot what's going to happen. The minute they do, they have the upper hand and you're in trouble.
But the tackle is the thing that really worries me. If the guy you've just headbutted has friends (and you can't always be sure that you've spotted them), you're on the floor and in the perfect position for them to kick and stamp you into a coma or worse. If you take it to the floor and have no idea how to handle yourself there, it will be very hard to disengage and get away.
Here's my advice. Avoid any and all forms of violence if at all possible. However, if this isn't possible and there's just one guy who's threatening me, I'd wait for him to make the first move, as I'm very likely able to block his attack, which will provide legal cover. But if you genuinely feel like you're in danger, don't worry about striking first. If there are several people threatening you and there's nowhere to run (or, like me, you're a slow runner), I'd strike first, going for either the nearest guy or the 'leader' and making sure one strike is going to put him out of action, before delivering similar blows to one or two others, and then I'd run. But the odds in this case are really against you.
Make use of the element of surprise (which the above article describes very well) and strike at vulnerable areas such as the eyes, ears, nose, throat, groin, knees and feet, and once your opponent is sufficiently wounded or disoriented, run away. Don't just hit once and then stand there waiting for him to fall to the floor like in the movies: strike several areas in quick succession, using an appropriate tool (e.g., fingers for eyes or throat, your heel to stamp on their foot). If something isn't working, change what you're doing quickly and go for a different target, but remember your goal is to get out of there quickly. Once you are safe, call the police and tell them you were attacked: it's worth reporting your side of the story first and voluntarily as the victim.
But if you can walk or run away from a physical confrontation, do so, and feel good about it: you'll have prevented someone (perhaps you) being injured, and that's a really good achievement for the day.
You should only use some of these tactics if your life is in danger. If it is not, you should flee. Collapsing a windpipe can result in death. To kill or maim is a consequential decision. If you fail your opponent, once they realize your intent…
Wow great advice guys, thanks. Helpful, sensible and realistic! R
I have a bit of a story.
About a year ago, I was into a girl for a long amount of time. I saw her come into highschool as a sweet straight-edge catholic middle school girl, and over months one guy, turned her into an emo slut. Complete with all the hard drugs you can imagine. I saw it happening, but could never stop it.
Finally I lost the will to try, and gained the ability to DO.
I saw this duechebag on Sunset Blvd and Vermont Ave on his skateboard near the It's A Grind coffee shop.
And I went into something, I cant even begin to explain, I lost all fear of anything whatsoever.
And I went after him. I hit the shit out of the back of his head while he was on his skateboard and he fell and rickashayed off the daily news dispenser. And then I made the first trully stupid choice. I thought it was over, and I walked away.
Suddenly the back of my head jerked forward and to the left, he managed to hit me from the back, somehow hitting my face.
I turned around and went at him, hitting all I possibly could.
Long story short, in the middle of broad daylight with quite a few witnesses, no cops got involved, and I fled to the nearby metro station, with a bloody eye, a bleeding mouth circa fight club stats, and a nose that had never blead on its own.
The eye that got hit will never be the same, it sees and operates probably, but the bone lying under the eyebrow, hurts sometimes and seems slightly dislocated.
I cleaned up with vodka, being the russian that I am, and took a picture to remind myself, that perhaps its not always worth the fight.
http://img40.imageshack.us/img40/268/lifewillkill...
I think this is certainly an instance when GP needs to make a video.
I have to disagree with the head butt and tackle method. The point is to not take a lot of damage and smashing heads together and ending up on the ground is a sure fire way to get pummeled. I also agree that some moves while they may certainly end a fight are just to dangerous to risk. No point going to jail over a scuffle.
If you're in real danger than all rules go out the window. Most guys won't anticipate a swift kick and you could probably land one to the knee or ribs that could turn the fight in your favor before it even gets going.
Fighting is a learned and refined skill, so unless you have fought often; realize that you don't actually know how to fight. Large muscles don't make you a good fighter; nor do tattoos, and neither do tequila shots.
If you still feel the need to fight, your best bet is either a heel of the palm or forearm strike to the side of the jaw just below the ear. However if it's not something you do often, please don't expect to be very good at it; so hope and pray that the guy you are attempting to fight shares your lack of experience.
Guys,
Thanks for the all the comments. I would've responded to everyone in turn, but after a weekend away there are just too many good comments to respond to all of them. Couple things I did want to address. First, glad to see almost everyone agreed and reiterated that the best way to win a fight is not get in one, and if you do get in one it really should be because there's no other way out. A couple of you disagreed with my recommendation of a headbutt football tackle, and for valid reasons. Something I should have touched on in the article is knowing your own strengths and weaknesses. I was a wrestler my entire life, with a successful high school and college career. As such I am most confident and comfortable going to the ground, I believe I can and will win there, probably the same as a boxer is going to want to stay on his feet. Now as one of you so astutely pointed out this assumes a one on one fight, because otherwise you're asking for a stomping/kicking. Which I think also proves that no advice fits every situation. Chris mentioned the vulnerable areas "eyes, ears, nose, throat, groin, knees and feet" which I had completely forgotten about…good stuff. Anyway thanks for the comments, as you guys have brought some great points to the table. Keep reading GP and tell all your friends.
Cheers,
Jon
I think the assumption was also that this was going to be a 1v1 fight… It's constantly overblown by movies, but unless you are a PROFESSIONAL FIGHTER going against people who have NO IDEA what they're doing, there is NO WAY you can even have a chance in anything other than 1v1. But then again, if you don't get into a fight no problem. However, statistics (that I have no idea where I remember seeing them from) show that an overwhelming majority of fights end up on the ground, so the tackling idea (in the case of a 1v1) is something I agree with. As far as being on the ground, the safest idea in my opinion would be forearm/elbow strikes, which will minimize your chance of missing and breaking your wrist/hand/whatever. Remember, strikes to the nose area generally are enough to discourage someone from further fighting, since it makes you tear up and uncoordinated.
Spitting on someone is a felony. You are foolish.