Sure, you know how to tie a tie. But do you know more than one way to do it? Every man should know at least two of the three common knots. Ties come in all different shapes and sizes and the proper knot is crucial to complete an ensemble. The three most common knots are the Four In Hand, Half Windsor, and Full Windsor. If you don’t know them all, check out the site Animated Knots. And while your there, advance yourself a bit and learn some other basic knots like the bowline, sheet bend, and figure eight. You never know when you’ll need this stuff to save a damsel in distress.

Advice Postscript: Unless you are the incarnation of Gianni Versace, don’t ever wear the tie featured in the demo.

Gear Patrol Protocol Rule #8 - [per DrinkPlanner] A man should know how to drink and he should know how to drink well. That doesn’t mean binge drinking, but have mercy on your soul if you drink women’s beverages. The guys at DrinkPlanner have got it right. Read, understand and abide by the: The Ten Commandments of Drinking
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Gear Patrol Protocol Rule #82 - Without falter, an attractive woman vouching for you to someone you are trying to hit on will make you the most compelling person in her eyes at that moment.

How you get an attractive woman to vouch for you is an entirely different matter. May we suggest charm and cunning wits.

Gear Patrol Protocol Rule #115 - Under no circumstances shall you, as a decent man, have sex with your close, curiously hot, female friend within the circle of friends. That is, unless you are an indecent man, which accounts for 99% of mankind thereby negating you of responsibility.

If alcohol-induced-outrageously-mind-burning-facebook-status-updating sex is had, you are not required to “figure things out” later. Not at least until more has partaken the morning after. Then you shall both forget about OMBFSUS in the interest of comradeship.

Advice Postscript: A man shall have no unnecessary female friends and will, at all costs, avoid the “friend zone”.

Gear Patrol Protocol Rule #47 - When discussing stories in a bar with friends, an acceptable amount of exaggeration is no less than 10% in the spirit of adding color, but no more than 50% without being called ‘bullshit’ on. This rule applies towards men and female friends. If said recipient of story is an attractive woman you have a 50/50 chance at picking up then acceptable tolerance rises to 200%.*

* - The previously accepted rate of 400% no longer applies as modern woman are less likely to be impressed. You do not have a trust fund, you do not have a Gulfstream IV and you are not that endowed.

Advice Postscript: A man should know how to throw a punch. A man who slaps is immediately defined as a woman. Follow these steps to learn how to throw a single knockout punch, perhaps at the fellow who calls ‘Bullshit’ on your stories at a bar.

The editors of Gear Patrol are starting a new weekly series called Gear Patrol Protocol: Rules, Regulations and Required Advice.

GP Protocol is a compilation of sage advice, man-rules and occasional satirical yet critical counsel we’ve come across in our dealings with the male lifestyle. Of course this doesn’t mean we’re forcing our opinions on you, we want to hear from you. If you have any words of wisdom to share, drop us an email or use our contact form.

Got advice on how not be a douchebag? Have a tip on taking three strokes off your short game? Know how to bag a woman in fourty-seven seconds? Got a guaranteed method to take down a guy down in a fistfight?

Well, it’s time to be heard. Let Gear Patrol be your forum.