By: Dennis Krell - Let’s keep this simple, well Gear Patrol asked me to keep it simple so I won’t bore you with details about pores, pollutants or other medical terms. They wanted me to give you a list and so here it goes. We’ll talk about the products you need to buy in the second part of my post later this week, so long as the editors don’t throw away this post for my profanity.

1. Clean your damn face. Your skin is a lot more oily than the ladies. It doesn’t help that you probably participate in activities that exacerbate that problem and so that being the case, you’ve got to clean up. Use cleansing products that are chemical-free. Somewhere earlier on Gear Patrol they talked about Irish Spring [editors note: That was here and here, we apologize for the repeat] and all I can say is you just best keep that shit on the soap tray and use it to clean your body. Not your face. Also, use some type of scrub on your face. The first several times you do this you may not like it. It’ll feel like you’re rubbing your face on wet sand, not so much a woman’s bosom. The scrub will help rejuvenate your face by removing dead cells.

2. Moisturize, and be gay about it. It sounds far more feminine than you want, and the word alone conveys all kinds of dirty thoughts, but it’s crucial that you do. You need to moisturize your face and it needs to be a product specifically catered to the face area. That Lubriderm you have sitting around in your bathroom (we don’t need to know why you have it, we all know why you have it) isn’t going to make the grade. Keep it light. Oh, and the reason why there are so many fucking eye creams out now is because the area under your eye does not secrete any of it’s own oils. Hence, the first area to show age on your face. Use specific eye creams as they are even lighter than facial lotions. They may also contain caffeine or green tea extracts to assist. Sound gay? Keep reading…

Dennis’ final steps and biography after the jump.

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Let’s face it, not every guy can afford grooming products that cost $20 for a single bar of soap. Hell, that’s six months worth of Irish Spring and frankly some guys prefer saving the cash for other gear. We understand.

That doesn’t mean walking into the store necessary means you have to sell yourself short. AXE’s revamped Vice lineup: Revitalizing Shower Gel, Deodorant Bodyspray and Invisible Solid Antiperspirant are retuned to give you a better, longer-lasting scent combined with effective protection. The mad scientists at AXE even brought in renowned expert Ann Gottlieb to do just that. Better yet, the prices are street-wise and no guy can deny the benefits of that.

What this means to you: Whether you admit to it or not, you know the commercials. The ones touting of unrelenting female attention when you use AXE products. We’ll be the first to admit it’s not going to happen - the product is a product, and what you’re selling is yourself. That said, they’ve got some damn fine and hilarious ‘Naughty To Nice’ commercials (one after the jump) so take a peek, pocket the cash you save and spend it on your own gear.

Cost: Deodorant $5 | Shower Gel $4 | Bodyspray $5

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Sweating is a one of those necessities that’s necessary but inconvenient. Sure, it affords us good reason to buy all kinds of awesome perspiration wicking athletic gear, but it also soaks right through shirts and if you’re at work, out or on a date that’s uncool.

For you guys that tend to sweat a bit, or a ton, more than the average joe then take a look at Gillette’s new Clinical Strength anti-perspirant. It’s 34% stronger than regular sticks and lasts 24 hours. It uses a three pronged attack at fighting sweat: prescription strength wetness protection, odor fighting mirocapsules that absorb odor and release fresh scent throughout the day, and skin-conditioning ingredients to help minimize irritation. Better yet is the complete absence of aluminum chloride that other clinical strength sticks use keeping you irritant free.

What this means to you: Heavy sweaters, your stick is here. This writer’s not even that heavy of a sweater, but has a stick ready to go in his gym bag for the coming summer heat. Hey, it’s never to early to gear up.

Cost: $7 @ Drugstore.com

Other Sweat-fighting Gear:
Mountain Hardwear Wicked Tee $29
Footjoy Sci-Flex Golf Glove $16

It only makes sense that folks who actually know shoes and feet make something to help them stay fresh. Johnston & Murphy’s J&M Foot Refresh uses absorbent odor-fighting elements and antibacterial agents to energize and refresh feet. The spray instantly gives your feet a cooling feeling rejuvenating them quickly.

What this means to you: You’re in your shoes for most part of the day. A lot goes on down there and most likely the byproduct, odor, isn’t the best thing you’ve smelled or felt. J&M Foot Refresh works just like a breathe mint for your feet.

Cost: $12 @ Johnston & Murphy

These are ingenius. They’re matchsticks with an active styptic end that stops shaving nicks and cuts from bleeding. Quick.

Positioned as a way to instantly mend shaving mishaps we can think of a dozen other reasons why you might want to have this packed with your outdoor gear or even in the glove compartment of your car. Oh, and they come in a pack of five.

What this means to you: How many times did you cut yourself shaving the past week? If it’s once or more then you need these. Those little tissue swabs? Not hot.

$50 @ Maintenance For Men

Also see: We’ve covered a ton of other grooming products here. Make sure and check out our other coverage.

Products that do what they’re supposed to without pretense or frills is what this writer loves. ACE’s line-up of precision grooming tools include everything from a pair of fingernail clippers to a power grooming tool kit to a fogless shower mirror. They’re substantial, clean and designed for men. Not like your girlfriend’s Revlon tools sitting in your bathroom. All at prices we can swallow unlike a lot of companies that try to sell you on overstyled products. Maybe that’s why a pair of clippers are on their way to our mailbox. Right now. [via Men’s Gift Guide]

What this means to you: Red, black and functional all over.

Cost: Tweezer $8, Fingernail or Toenail Clipper $7, Nail File Pick $7 @ Round Table Gifts

The late winter doldrums is no excuse for your lack of visits to the gym. Get your lazy ass back into gear. Find a workout regimen,

The Anthony Sport Body Bar cleanses and exfoliates using a 100% vegetable based soap with glycerin translucent side for exfoliating and a cream opaque side for moisturizing and softening of the beard. Yes, it’s a two sided bar and it’s odd we haven’t used more soap bars like it.

Anthony endorses use for face and body and shoots for a citrus fresh scent.

We definitely like the included zip-loc pouch. It’s perfect to keep the bar in your gym back without fear of a mess.

What this means to you: Expedite shower time in the gym and use the saved minutes for more strides on the treadmill.

Cost: $10 @ Anthony

When it comes to shaving there are plenty of options. Shavers, creams, aftershave solutions, etc. Then there’s the occasional splurge and a splurge this is.

The Hommage Monaco Razor with Humidor is a combination of the the Monaco Razor packaged in a handmade wooden humidor gift box.

The Monaco Razor isn’t just a luxe razor. It’s design with innovative curvature and precise weight to give you precise feeling in your hand to produce a mooth, gentle shave. It has a rubberized, ergonomic handle and it’s sleek chrome surface don’t hide the fact that you’ve paid a hard chunk of change for this product.

Moving onto the humidor we see that the box is made of a laquered pear wood with rhodium plated hinges and magnetic locks. Taking out your razor, you have a fully functional humidor complete with hygrometer and humidity controlling element.

Like all good third party razor manufactuers, the HOMMAGE Razors use Gillette MACH3 blades.

What this means to you: Useful? Perhaps not. Interesting. Perhaps. Luxurious? Yes.

Cost: $750 @ On The Fly

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Grapefruit, Lavender, Heliotrope, Raspberry, Vetiver (a cousin of lemon grass), Star Anise. These are the notes that make-up for Diesel’s new fragrance, Fuel For life. It’s an individualistic take on classic fragrances and we like it.

A lot of men’s fragrances and colognes pass through our doors here at Gear Patrol and we would be lying if we didn’t say that some of them weren’t severely disappointing. The energetic, clear and masculine tones of Fuel For Life have a blend we’ve enjoyed from the get-go. Recently Diesel repackaged their bottle with a

Better yet, we have a fantastic looking boxed gift set ready to give away (courtesy Diesel). Talk about last minute holiday gift! Just send an e-mail to giveaway@gearpatrol.com [e-mail link] with the subject “Fuel For Life” and your full name in the body. We’ll contact and announce the winner shortly.

What this means to you: The key to using cologne properly is keeping it simple and keeping it subdued. You don’t have to break the bank for a good fragrance

Cost: $45 (50ml), $60 (75ml) @ Diesel

We are serious about your privacy. Your e-mail is only intended as an entry and is not used for any other purposes than to contact you in case you are declared a winner.

The winter is hell on your skin. Add on top of that all the toxins, chemicals, and other harsh irritants we expose ourselves to everyday and you’ve got all out war on your skin.

Enter, Skin MD Natural. It’s a shielding lotion and unlike other lotions which focus merely on moisturizing, Skin MD actually forms a protective barrier on your skin to keep out irritants and chemicals.

This writer has used Skin MD for well over a month now and though not one to readily talk about his grooming habits can tell you now that he’s not looking back on the idea of a shielding lotion. Hasta luego cracked skin.

What this means to you: Active lifestyle’s don’t have room or time to care about things like ’skincare’ but activities, whether they’re as simple as washing hands or bombing the slopes in Vermont are killer on your skin. Eczema anyone?

Cost: $25 @ Skin MD