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Tuesday, May 7th
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Hunter, Safari Guide and Photographer

30 Minutes With: Alex Walker

Alex Walker grew up in a National Geographic photo spread. Instead of a lawn with a picket fence or a city playground, the fourth generation East African’s childhood stomping grounds were the tea fields of Mufindi, the bush of southern Tanzania and Kenya’s Mau forest. Today he makes his home in Masai Mara, Kenya, one of the most famous wildlife ecosystems in the world. After staying at one of Walker’s camps on our adventure in Kenya, we were curious to hear more about what makes this safari guide tick.

Buying Guide
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What's that, now?

Sweet Sound of Silence: 10 Best Noise-Canceling Headphones

By ALEJANDRO BRACETTI

A respite from noise might seem thin on paper, but spend a few hours on an inescapable airplane with crying babies, heaving green-faced passengers or even a chatty cathy neighbor and get back to us on what you’re willing to pay for a little peace and music. What’s more, NC options have some of the best sound profiles available, making them true gems for audiophiles and the easily distracted alike. Considering the vastly small market for noise-canceling headsets available at the moment, the problem isn’t necessarily narrowing down the field — it’s choosing the best one for your audio needs. From pioneering audio staples to buzzing newcomers, these are the noise cancelers worth turning your ears to.

TIG

Today in Gear: May 7, 2013

By NICK CARUSO
Halda-Watches-Gear-Patrol Halda Watches
Halda’s interchangeable concept watches feature base “time platforms” and multiple “time modules” in a horological version of Face Off. Mechanical and digital modules for both the “Race Pilot” and the “Space Discovery” mean you can tailor your look and your timekeeping features to your environment. haldasweden.com
Kreg-Tool-Automaxx-System-Gear-Patrol Kreg Tool Automaxx Bench Klamp System
This Bench Klamp System automatically adjusts for every change in material thickness with just a squeeze of its padded handles. It also gives you the freedom to work on every square inch of your workbench — not just the edges (like lesser craftsmen). $50
Black-Diamond-Vector-Gear-Patrol Black Diamond Vector Climbing Helmet
At only 231 grams (half a pound), the Vector is a high-powered lightweight. Think Vern Troyer meets the Hulk. Six vents keep your scalp cool, and headlamp clips are built in. Here’s hoping you won’t have to use it. $99 ()
Sleepy-Jones-Gear-Patrol Sleepy Jones Clothing
Andy Spade (of Jack Spade fame) is back for more with his latest project, Sleepy Jones, a stylish collection of basics, underwear, tees, socks and more. Wistful patterns and small details make up the oeuvre here, and small details (like the coin pocket on the boxers) are real gems. $36 ()
Aecraft-Macbook-Air-Sleeve-Gear-Patrol Aecraft Ultra-Slim MacBook Air 13-inch Sleeve
The problem with Apple’s Macbook Air is that it’s so gorgeously, impossibly thin that it’ll fit anywhere — but if you just throw it in any old bag bag its brushed finish will be marred in no time flat. This Merino wool and leather sleeve features a magnetic closure for slim, secure storage of your gossamer gadget. ~$79
Smoke-and-Pickles-Gear-Patrol Smoke and Pickles: Recipes and Stories from a New Southern Kitchen
Edward Lee, owner of the Beard Award-nominated restaurant 610 Magnolia in Louisville, Kentucky, combines his Korean heritage and Southern upbringing for 130 recipes and bits of narrative that make this book both a kitchen tool and a good read. $19
Monday, May 6th
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Viewfinder: The Ghurka Story

Toward the end of this quick film Walker Macwilliam, creative director of Ghurka and narrator of the video, says Ghurka’s purpose is “making beautiful things out of beautiful leather”. We say that about sums it up perfectly.

Summer Preview
music-festival-essentials-gear-patrol
Stock up for Woodstock

Kit: Music Festival

By JON GAFFNEY

Ah, the music festival. Concert after concert under the hot sun, huge fields of camping fans, available yet astronomically priced food, and port-a-potties stretching to the horizon combine for a strange breed of “roughing it” with large doses of civilization mixed in. Prepare properly and you’re in for the weekend of a lifetime; shirk the prep and you’ll be poor and plenty grumpy come Sunday night. Here are ten pieces of gear — appropriately fitting the chaotic and not at all fashionable atmosphere you’ll come to know and love — to get your music festival experience on track for “Epic!” status. We’ll leave the collapsible peace pipe to you.

TIG

Today in Gear: May 6, 2013

By NICK CARUSO
Raphaand-Raeburn-Gear-Patrol Rapha & Braeburn Cycling Apparel
Designer Christopher Braeburn and his brother Graeme’s three-piece spring line for cycling apparel king Rapha is well tailored and modern to a T. The lightweight shell jacket, merino henley and cycle-centric jeans are England-made and look sharp anywhere. rapha.cc ()
RAW-BKNY-Wooden-Key-Gear-Patrol RAWBKNY Wooden Keys
Getting that self-aware feeling that your Apple keyboard looks too modern and design-y? Thanks to a currently underway Kickstarter campaign by Brooklyn-based RAWBKNY, you’ll soon be able to apply beautiful, thin bamboo or rosewood veneers to your keyboard for a truly unique (hipster lumberjack) look. $40+
Uniqlo-AIRism-Innerwear-Gear-Patrol Uniqlo AIRism Innerwear
Because you really need new underwear, anyway: Uniqlo’s new AIRism line provides super lightweight moisture-wicking and odor-repelling fabric to their undergarment line. The fabric’s slight stretch also adds comfort and flexibility. $10+
Crumpler-Cut-of-Horror-MBP-Backpack-Gear-Patrol Crumpler Cut of Horror Macbook Pro Backpack
Australian manufacturer Crumpler has partnered with Apple to create a backpack specifically for the 15-inch MacBook Pro and iPad. A simple fold-over bag style provides easy access, and its fabric and zippers are highly water resistant to protect the goods. No word yet on what the hell the name means. $130
Denon-AVR-X4000-AV-receiver-Gear-Patrol Denon AVR-X4000 AV receiver
Denon’s future-proofed home audio receiver boasts top-of-the-line specs including 4k upscaling for your ridiculous TV as well as 4K passthrough. It’s also easy to install and plays nicely with internet radio and AirPlay. $1,300
Ace-Patrol-Gear-Patrol Sid Meier’s Ace Patrol
The legendary designer behind the Civilization franchise moves to mobile with Ace Patrol, a turn-based strategy game based on World War I fighter planes. Get your Sky Pilot playlist ready. Free
Friday, May 3rd
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Beer o'clock comes early this summer

Suds Up: Perfect Summer Craft Beers

A true hot-weather brew is not necessarily easy to find. We won’t knock macrobrews — their simple refreshment is enhanced all the same by hot weather, scantily clad women and baseball games. Those (the beers, not the women) are easily snatched from the corner store shelf, though. This list tackles the summer micro brew, a trickier topic, if only because there are so damn many. Pop the cap off the right one of these beauties and any summer activity can be filled with crisp, carbonated, slightly buzzed pleasure.

Summer Preview
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Starpower trumps horsepower

Reel Wheels: 15 Iconic Movie Cars

By MATT NEUNDORF

Weeding through Hollywood’s entire crop of iconic movie cars in the hopes of arriving at an agreed upon best of list is like trying to choose the sexiest Victoria’s Secret model — it can be grueling work, but the research isn’t exactly painful. Car guys are a picky lot, especially when looking to the silver screen: Some go weak in the knees when they hear an American V8 rumble to life slightly out of frame, while others are gaga for the svelte silhouette of a European exotic on a twisty backdrop. A select few believe the essential chase scene is the deciding factor, while yet another breed is only happy when the director has chosen an “appropriate” vehicle for the character driving, regardless of whether the movie was even watchable.

The GP Team’s collection of petrolheads put all of these variables into play, entered into deep philosophical debate and eventually agreed to disagree so we could present you with our picks for the best movie cars ever. Gentlemen, start your arguing engines!

TIG

Today in Gear: May 3, 2013

By CHRIS WRIGHT
Porsche-911-Turbo-S-Gear-Patrol Porsche 911 Turbo and Turbo S
Though our hearts are loyal to naturally aspirated 911s like the awesome GT3, the Turbo is mighty in its own right. The all-new 991-based 911 Turbo and Turbo S are cause for celebration, especially in honor of the 40th anniversary of the inception of the 911 Turbo. Twin turbos drive the potent flat-six engine in both cars, and the S hits 60 in 2.9 seconds. Auf Wiedersehen, baby. $148,300+
Nudie-Jeans-Organic-Dry-Pima-Selvedge-Jeans-Gear-Patrol Nudie Jeans Grim Tims Org. Dry Pima Selv
These jeans are forged through a trinity of bespoke glory: (1) organic Pima cotton grown on small-scale, organic New Mexico farms, (2) woven into selvage fabric on shuttle looms in Japan, and (3) put together by hand in Italy. Each pair is numbered from 1 to 480, furthering your denim individuality rating (refer to your hipster handbook for more info on that score). $265
DirecTV-Voice-Gear-Patrol DirecTV Voice
Turning inanimate objects into slaves is a lofty ideal that we can always get behind. If your kids/better half/pets won’t listen, at least your TV will with DirecTV’s voice search. Just yell “explosions!” or “Megan Fox!” into the iPhone app and your TV does the rest. directv.com
DIY-Pelican-Watch-Case-Gear-Patrol DIY Pelican Watchcase
Some intuitive watch geek out there figured out that the Pelican 1470 laptop case works great as a watch case, too. You can always buy your own case and adjust it for your collection — or you can let Martin Lim, an enterprising graphic designer and apparently a real go-getter, build one with pro-grade foam for you. Either option is a relatively cheap way to tote your wrist candy. $260
Acer-Iconia-A1-Tablet Acer Iconia A1 Android Tablet
Acer’s new tablet is designed to go head to head with Google’s popular but aging Nexus 7 and Apple’s iPad mini. The price is right at $199, especially when you consider its mini-matching 7.9-inch, 1,024 x 768 display, quad-core 1.2GHz processor, 1GB of RAM, the option for 3G, a microSD slot and Micro-USB and HDMI ports. Then again, we’re sure new versions of the competition are right around the corner. $199
CHIEF-pocket-squares-Gear-Patrol CHIEF Pocket Squares
Spruce up your summer blazers with these pocket squares from Brooklyn-based accessory company CHIEF. Each is made in the USA from exclusive Japanese fabrics that are fun, versatile and sure to give you style points. $55+
Bot-Objects-ProDesk3D-Printer-Gear-Patrol Bot Objects ProDesk3D Printer
There’s no doubt that 3D printing will revolutionize the manufacturing game and change how we buy certain things. The device reaches a new milestone in the industry’s first true full-color 3D desktop printer. Oh, and it also looks mighty fine too. botobjects.com
Summer Preview
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GP tallies the hits and misses of the season

The 2013 Comprehensive Summer Movie Guide

By BEN BOWERS

Nowadays, no summer preview would be complete without a mention of the movies. Mother nature’s decision to crank up the thermostat and the possibility of BBQ ribs for lunch provide all the natural motivation society needs to bunker down in a cool dark room to watch Megan Fox sweat on cars 120 minutes of explosions. We love a good superhero flick as much as the next guy, but massive marketing budgets shouldn’t be the only thing coaxing you into a theater seat this summer. This season has its fair share of CGI orgies and deep think pieces that don’t rhyme with “fan of seal” — and none of them should be missed.

Thursday, May 2nd
Original Series
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Rising to the top

Best of BaselWorld 2013

By JASON HEATON

Another BaselWorld is in the books. Journalists, retailers and watch nerds alike are retreating as we speak to their blogs, stores and web forums to debate who the winners, the losers, the biggest surprises and the biggest disappointments were at this year’s show. Of course, all of the hype surrounding the biggest watch event on the planet is a sign of the times. Watches have become big business, and the launch of a new OMEGA or TAG Heuer attracts the same buzz as a new U2 album or Bond film. Watches are cooler now than they’ve ever been.

Our intrepid band of watch experts has elbowed past the hype and tirelessly pored over the onslaught of new watches shown this past week to distill a list of the most interesting, groundbreaking and just plain sexiest new timepieces of BaselWorld 2013.

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Bee open minded

Tasting Notes: Dewar’s Highlander Honey

Putting honey into alcoholic things has a bad rap. It’s effeminate, it’s weak, it’s a cop-out. The parallels to shitty, girly strawberry-kiwi-whipped-cream-lip-gloss vodka are overwhelming. But everyone’s doing it. Now Dewar’s (a Scotch!) has joined in. We’re here to tell you: their take isn’t wrong. It’s just… different.

Staff Favorites
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See what Matt's Amassed

Staff Favorites: Matt Neundorf

By GEAR PATROL

The fourth installment in our Staff Favorites series features Mr. Matt Neundorf. Hailing from Toronto, this proud Canadian is one of GP’s newer recruits — but there isn’t a lick of green about him except for his prowess in DIY projects. A confessed car nut, an avid drinker of craft brews (especially those from his native Great White North) and an old hand at home renovation, Matt’s a natural — especially since he also brings his level-headed, humorous writing to bear on GP assignments. When he isn’t filling GP readers’ heads with dreams of roaring autos and whirring power tools, Matt works on his own personal home renovation projects, purveys construction equipment and sources consumer goods.

TIG

Today in Gear: May 2, 2013

By NICK CARUSO
Belkin-Thunderbolt-Dock-Gear-Patrol Belkin Thunderbolt Express Dock
Santa wouldn’t be nearly as efficient had he but one tiny reindeer out front of the ole sleigh instead of the de rigeur eight. Belkin, taking a play out of Saint Nick’s book, hitches up eight ports for ultra-fast gadgets in one fell, 20x-faster-than-USB 2.0 swoop. $300
Jazz.-New-York-in-the-Roaring-Twenties-Gear-Patrol Jazz. New York in the Roaring Twenties
Via anecdotes and vivid images, this book, replete with an audio CD of the jazz greats themselves, is a must read for any jazz enthusiast. It chronicles 24 key players in the 1920s jazz scene in NYC — from the recording sessions to big band dance halls and back again. $31
Jeffersons-Barrel-Aged-Bourbon-Gear-Patrol Jefferson’s Bourbon Barrel-aged Cocktail Program
Time to bring a bit of the booze-aging process to your favorite gin whiskey joint. Cocktail bars who want in on the action get several bottles of Jefferson’s and a wooden aging barrel; all they have to do is prepare the barrel, mix a cocktail, and let it age in the cask for a few weeks. Then it’s pour and serve: a unique, custom-aged cocktail we’ll toast to. jeffersonsbourbon.com
Specialized-Turbo-E-Bike-Gear-Patrol Specialized Turbo E-Bike
The Specialized Turbo’s alloy frame is super light yet strong enough to support a custom lithium ion battery (set nicely in the downtube) and a rear-hub motor that helps riders reach speeds of 28 mph. While you’re boosting, consider leaving your Livestrong bracelet at home. $5,900
Kingston-MobileLite-Wireless-Gear-Patrol Kingston MobileLite Wireless Flash Reader
An update to Kingston’s Wi-Drive, the Mobilite Wireless now features SD card memory instead of internal memory, allowing access from multiple devices. Turn on the Mobilite, navigate to its IP address in your browser and voila: all the files are available on your computer. As a huge bonus, this little guy doubles as a USB device charger, and it carries enough juice to charge up a cell phone. $94 ()
Wednesday, May 1st
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Poised to make history

30 Minutes With: Kevin Krigger

Kevin Krigger is a 29-year-old derby rookie and the rider of Goldencents — a favorite in this year’s race. As a native of St. Croix, though, Krigger will share the honor of being the first Virgin Islander to compete in the race. More importantly to some, he’s also the first black jockey to compete in the event since 2000 — and he has a chance to be the first black rider to win the Derby since 1902.

kit-journey-across-cuba-gear-patrol
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Gear for a 3-week Caribbean journey

Kit: Cuba

Packing for three weeks of travel could easily balloon into roller bags, laptop cases and fanny packs. If you’re staying in luxury hotels and somebody else is handling your gear, fine. Bring the sheepskin robe. But if you may have to spend full days carrying your luggage on your back, then you’re limited to the essentials. Here’s what I stuffed into my GORUCK GR2 for three weeks in Cuba.

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Getting attached to GORUCK's Weekend Bag

Tested: Trekking Across Cuba with the GORUCK GR2

On my first night with the GORUCK GR2 ($395) we slept together in a bus station — and we’ve been going steady since. Specifically, after a flight from Cancun to Havana and midnight bus from Havana to Santa Clara, in the geographical center of Cuba, I looped a carabiner through the side webbing of the GR2, clipped it to my jacket’s pit vents, rested my head gently against her rugged 1000D cordura, and knocked off for six hours in a metal row chair.

Summer Preview
dispatches-from-cuba-gear-patrol-lead
A Photo Essay

Dispatches From Cuba: Photos and Stories From a 20-Day Journey

By GUEST WRITER

It started with an email from my buddy.

Condor,

Meet you in the lobby of the Islazul Gran Hotel De Camaguey @8am on March 18th, 2013. I will be in touch – Peregrine.

Actually, we’d talked about the possibility of a Cuba trip when Mycah — his name isn’t always Peregrine — and his wife found out the she’d been awarded a fellowship to study urban agriculture there. I had not booked my tickets. I wasn’t really sure I’d go because it was near a grand between the flight to Cancun and the next one to Havana, plus I’d been traveling a lot the past year. I told him it was 50/50. Then in early March I was offered a quick business trip to Cancun ending in mid-March. You don’t balk when serendipity tugs at your Johnson, so I shot off a quick email reply: F*ck it. Tickets booked. See you there.

TIG

Today in Gear: May 1, 2013

By NICK CARUSO
Chef-Day-Gear-Patrol Chefday
Choose one of the gourmet chef-designed recipes on Chefday’s website and every last organic, almost entirely locally sourced ingredient — from salt to tenderloins — will be hand-delivered to your door, pre-measured and pre-washed. All you have to do is follow the step-by-step video instructions and set the table. It’s an ultra easy way to bring the magic of a professional kitchen into your own home (as long as you live in NYC). Date night? Dunzo. $30
Google-Now-iOS-Gear-Patrol Google Now for iOS
Google Now is a silent valet to Siri’s stubborn digital assistant. As part of the Google Search app, finally on iOS, Now monitors your searches and other activity to get you relevant information — like weather, directions and flight information — by way of “cards” at the bottom of the screen. Swipe away unwanted cards, and hope it doesn’t catch on to your obsessive searches for your ex. Free
2014-Toyota-4Runner-Gear-Patrol 2014 Toyota 4Runner
Though it’s nearly due for a complete redesign, the 4Runner — now one of the few remaining entries of its size in the “true” SUV segment — has been granted a fresh, rocky face and new interior bits and accessories to keep itself looking and feeling good. All are improvements in comfort, safety and convenience; the sturdy RWD/4WD platform remains (which is really all we want anyhow). toyota.com
Bacardi-Oak-Heart-Gear-Patrol Bacardi OakHeart
Inspired by a clever pirate who put a burned enemy’s ship to good use as a container for his grog (we just made that up), Bacardi’s aged their classic spiced rum in charred oak barrels for a smooth, smoky taste. bacardi.com
Ecco-Biarritz-Wing-Tip-Tie-Gear-Patrol Ecco Biarritz Wing Tip Tie
Contrast sole shoes are all the rage, but Ecco dresses them up in their Wing Tip Tie with beautifully textured scotchgrain leather that lends character and depth; they’re a perfect pair for jeans and suits. $190
Sony-Cyber-shot-HX50V-Digital-Digital-Camera-Gear-Patrol Sony Cyber-shot HX50V
Three-way image stabilization is impressive, but it’s entirely necessary when the small (if you can call 20.4MP “small”) point-and-shoot-sized rig you’re using has 30x optical zoom capability. GPS geo-tagging, 1080p video recording and full manual control round out the features on this pint-sized powerhouse. $450
Esther-Tent-Collection-Gear-Patrol TENT Collection By Esther Porter
There’s room in here somewhere for a pun about these bags being “intense” — but these colorful totes should be taken seriously all the same. Made of reclaimed music festival tent material, rubber-bonded canvas and cast nickel hardware, they’re both water resistant and good looking. estherporter.co.uk
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So bloody good, it hurts

Breakdown: Land Rover Defender LXV 65th Anniversary

Sometimes being American causes us great pain, especially when it comes to rides we can (1) never afford (which seems to occur often) and (2) never see in the States. Like a hot poker in the eye, Land Rover has issued a celebratory 65th Anniversary all-terrain yak known simply as the Land Rover Defender LXV (~$44,500).

Tuesday, April 30th
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Board optional, shorts required

Short Sell: This Summer’s 5 Best Board Shorts

Some of the best days of summer are spent out on the water — or at least relaxing, sipping beers and socializing near it. But what to wear? Board shorts are the safest (and best) bet in our book, providing the rugged construction necessary for water sports with a look and form — thanks to a rigid waistband, fly, snaps, ties and quick-drying, stretchy material — that also lends itself to an inland hike for boardwalk pizza. We’ve herded our five favorite board shorts of the year for your wearing pleasure here.

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Call for backup

Five Alive: 5 Best iPhone 5 Battery Cases

Doubling battery life is a no-brainer. Options run the gamut for solutions to Apple’s latest quick-to-die wonder — and we really mean run the gamut. It’s a bit of the Wild West in the battery case world at the moment, so start here with our five best selections, then do your homework and make sure what you choose will get you what you want.

TIG

Today in Gear: April 30, 2013

By NICK CARUSO
Breitling-Emergency-II-gear-patrol Breitling Emergency II
The built-in personal locator beacon in the Emergency II uses a dual frequency transmitter to communicate with satellites, making your watch (and everything attached to it) easy to track down in case of an emergency. A rechargeable battery means you can explore corners of the Earth unfettered by Radio Shacks and without worries of being lost for good. breitling.com
HP-Prime-graphing-calculator-gear-patrol HP Prime
Used to be kids lugged chunky calculators with LCD screens to Geometry class and were forced to play Centipede in pixelated black and white. HP is changing the game with its full-color multitouch display Prime graphing calculator. Sure, it’s just a calculator (no email capability or phone functionality), but if your class (or syllabus) requires this kind of hardware, might as well get the best to impress the rest. youtube.com ()
Audi-TT-Ultra-Quattro-Concept-gear-patrol Audi TT Ultra Quattro Concept
At Wörthersee 2013 Audi will unveil the spectacular TT Ultra Quattro Concept, a mini-beast with sporting intentions. Weighing in at a mere 2,449 pounds and housing a 310 hp engine, the Ultra should get to 60 in 4.2 seconds. Plus, the extensive use of carbon fiber reinforced polymer and a very serious spoiler make the Ultra one mean machine. audi-mediaservices.com
I-Click-Titanium-Pen-x-Stylus-gear-patrol TI-Click Titanium Pen x Stylus
These retractable titanium pens have silicone stylus tips on their clicker ends and feature integrated internals that won’t fall out when you insert ink refills (they take more than 45 different types, by the way). Until you can afford that Mont Blanc, they’re the perfect serious utensil. $69+
Great-Stuff-RoboReel-Water-gear-patrol RoboReel Water
The RoboReel Water is eager to wind your hose. If you know what we mean. An included 100- or 150-foot never-kink hose fits in this handy globe, and the rechargeable battery system powers the whole shebang. There’s an automatic timer for watering the lawn on a predetermined schedule, so set it and forget it. No more brown spots on the lawn, and you can tell your neighbors’ kids your new green orb is a baby Sputnik. $649
Philips-Jamie-Oliver-HomeCooker-gear-patrol Philips x Jamie Oliver HomeCooker
The automated kitchen of the future is here. The HomeCooker will stir, chop and cook your food for you, and it’s all managed by a clever timer system. There’s almost no need at all to lift a finger — set it and forget it, indeed. Ray Bradbury’s rolling in his grave. $430 ()
Sony-DEV-50V-Digital-Recording-Binoculars-gear-patrol Sony DEV-50V Digital Recording Binoculars
Sci-Fi fans pining for the future and its absurd enhancements, your gizmo has come. These rainproof binoculars offer 25x magnification, image stabilization, autofocus and they’ll record everything you see. In HD or 3D, no less. (In case you’re curious, no X-Ray capability is available. Yet.) $2,000
Monday, April 29th
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The good kind of shady

Clear for Takeoff: 5 Aviators for the Summer

Finally the brightness of summer is on its way. Now, for the harsh reality: you’ve had plenty of time during the last five months of gray to forget where you left your last set of sunglasses. If you’re in need of a new pair, the beloved aviator never goes out of style, pairs well with everything from a suit to board shorts, and just looks damn good. Read on for the five best aviators for summer 2013.

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Itchy trigger fingers, apply here

Time On Our Hands: Graham Chronofighter Oversize

The Graham Chronofighter Oversize ($6,900) is the latest offering from a brand that has long caught our eye. It’s a watch decked out with unique dial layouts, applied sub-dial magnifier portals that look like they’re straight out of a Jules Verne novel, an imposing size… and then there’s the trigger.