The Gear Burger

Two Hands Required

The 2008 Gear Patrol Gear Burger. Joygasm.    Click Image To Enlarge & Savor

GP.FEATURE.gifWhat do you get when you mix two hungry Gear Patrol Editors, a classically trained Executive Chef, an empty restaurant and liberal amounts of free time? If you said complete and utter mayhem, then you’d be right.

Just for the record, I knew from the beginning the blowtorch would be a bad idea.

Mission: Set out to construct a better burger achievable by man in his own home.

Result: A masterpiece worthy of the GP seal of approval. Lucky for you we like to share. We’re going to show you how you can construct your own bewildering behemoth, impress your buddies (everyone actually), and dominate grillisto’s the world over.

From the mad minds of Gear Patrol and Executive Chef Richard Parente (of Sentrista Grill), we present the 2008 Gear Burger. Buckle up.


Before you eat a hole in the screen, let me introduce you to the 2008 Gear Burger. At its core is a hand formed 8 oz Kobe beef patty. Throw on everything from the traditional: lettuce, tomato, & pickles. Then pile on a few unique items: chipotle mayo, beer battered onion rings, & applewood smoked bacon. What you have is a burger no one would expect to come from your kitchen and/or grill. All the better for you when it does.


Ingredients & Preparation (yields two burgers):

  • 1 lb ground Kobe beef – I shouldn’t have to tell you fresh right?
  • 1 large Spanish onion – cut in ½ inch slices
  • 2 tomato slices
  • Sliced pickles
  • 4 slices cheddar cheese – I would have suggested Monterey jack but Parente threatened to cut off one of my fingers. Sorry Chef.
  • 2 romaine lettuce leaves
  • ½ cup mayonnaise
  • Chipotle flavored Tabasco to taste – you can find this in a can at your supermarket
  • 1 cup flour
  • 1 bottle of your favorite beer – we used Captain Lawrence Pale Ale
  • 3 cups canola oil, for frying
  • Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
  • 6 strips of apple wood smoked bacon – cooked to your preferred crispness
  • 2 favorite buns/rolls – we prefer them with a few grill marks

Chef’s Note: Chef Parente suggests Fossil Farms for the Kobe beef and applewood smoked bacon.

Chipotle Mayonnaise

  • In small bowl, mix mayo and chipotle Tabasco to taste.

Beer Battered Onion Rings


  • In medium bowl add flour, slowly wisk in the beer to the consistency of pancake batter.
  • Heat oil in small sauce pot to 350 degrees (using a kitchen thermometer).
  • Seperate onion rings, place in batter and coat
  • Carefully lower rings into oil with tongs. Flip. Remove when golden brown. Place on a plate with paper towel.



  • Divide meat into 2, 8 oz patties. Season with kosher salt and fresh ground pepper.
  • Either grill or panfry for about 2-3 min on each side, for rare to medium rare.
  • Place cheese on top about 30 sec before finishing.



  • Place patty on bottom half of bun. Add chipotle mayo.
  • Add romaine, then sliced tomato, then pickles.
  • Add beer battered onion rings then applewood smoked bacon. Top it all off with the bun.