Air Hoardin'

Brabus Mercedes-Benz 800 E V12 Cabriolet

Cars By Photo by Brabus VIA

Had enough mad black tuner cars yet? It looks like there’s no end in sight, and that’s okay with us. Brabus recently released the automotive equivalent of an M198 Howitzer, the Brabus Mercedes-Benz 800 E V12 Cabriolet ($681,484) turning an already powerful convertible into an instant way to flatten the top of your skull. The German tuner delicately crams a not-so-subtle 800 horsepower V12 from the Merc S600 into the engine compartment of an E-Class Cabrio. The nutty Teutons beefed up the displacement to 6.3 liters and decided to throw in twin-turbos, just in case you wanted to spill your entire morning coffee, instead of just half the cup. The end result? 0-60 in 3.7 seconds and a top speed of 231. Say goodbye to your hairpiece, because it will burst into flames. The limited slip diff keeps the car from getting away from itself and puts the power down appropriately. Aerodynamics have been enhanced via new airdam so you stay planted and the powertrain and brakes get plenty of air. A nice touch is the adjustable ride height, so you can mow squirrels if you so choose. Might as well, since you’ll have to sell almost 700,000 of their pelts at a dollar apiece just to make the payments.

Price: $681,484