Pintofeed-Gear-Patrol Pintofeed
Ostensibly for pets, this automated child-feeding device, which can be controlled and monitored via smartphone, has the potential to make “pets” and their “owners” quite happy. Tap a button to feed remotely, or let the system automatically monitor when food is eaten and form a computerized schedule. Physical devices run on ac or battery power and connect to your home’s wi-fi signal; they handle food large and small, and the app can control up to 50 devices at once, making it a perfect solution for daycare personnel veterinarians. $179
Pelton-Cycling-Gear-Patrol Peloton Cycle
Hardcore stationary cycling classes are all the rage now, but why shame yourself in public when you can do the whole human-hamster-wheel thing in the comfort of your own home? This dashing stationary bike utilizes a quiet belt drive and magnetic resistance to deliver the perfect workout, and its attached 21.5-inch, wi-fi-enabled HD monitor provides on-demand access to cycling instruction videos for an extra 39 bucks a month. $1,190
Yolkr-Gear-Patrol Yolkr
It took us a few minutes to be sure this wasn’t some weird Flight of the Conchords joke, but we’re now sure this Kiwi invention is the real deal. The simple device works like a chic, stunted turkey baster in reverse, sucking up egg yolks and leaving the more healthy whites behind. Some separations are dubious, but this kind should please bakers and protein-shake-drinkers alike. $23+
Keyme-Gear-Patrol KeyMe App
Turns out the modern version of leaving a key under the doormat is a little more complicated. Take a picture of your key and this app analyzes the shape to provide keymakers with the appropriate key template and cut pattern for a new copy. Request a picture on the fly from your cohabiter or have pictures stored in the app in advance. KeyMe will even cut custom keys — like a bottle opener model — for you and send them along via post. Free
Martin-Jetpack-Gear-Patrol The Martin Jetpack
FINALLY. Though originally meant solely for the leisure market, the original orders of this real-life jetpack were snatched up by the government (in a plot exactly like any cookie-cutter movie plot with awesome technology). Its creators hope the two-stroke engine-powered fantasy will eventually cost around 100 grand — not too shabby — and for the time being it’s restricted to non-urban airspace (that didn’t stop Tony Stark, so…). There’s a focus on safety and a top speed of about 45 MPH.
Miele-Rotary-Iron-Gear-Patrol Miele Rotary Iron
Because it’s hard to get all the wrinkles out of your shirts, right? Because you like to SIT and iron. And because you like your sheets and towels pressed, damn it. Just feed your textiles into this somewhat foldable unit and the rolling cylinder ensures an even, steam-enchanced flattening of all your tablecloths and undies and recently washed paper money. $2,999