I don’t care what GQ says. I don’t care if Chris Black wears them. Crocs are atrocious. They’re not back in style because they never were in style. You can do better; there exist alternatives that give your feet similar freedom, breathability and nonchalance. And none of them have gaping holes in them.

Boston by Birkenstock $105

Bostonian by Yuketen $220

Bahamas Lis Marine by Paraboot $240

Lazy Moccasins by New England Outerwear Co. $259

Horsebit Leather Backless Loafers by Gucci $595