Conquest Vehicles describes their new Conquest Evade ($579,000) as “elegant.” And that’s certainly the case if your notion of elegance involves looking like a giant knurled iron fist on wheels. It’s their follow up to Conquest’s 13,000 pound, fully armored Knight XV. The Evade weighs “significantly less,” according to Conquest, which should aid in performance, since you’ll need to get outta Dodge before things get squirrelly without the protection the Knight XV affords its rich passengers.

Essentially designed to be a more aggressive looking luxury SUV, the Evade wouldn’t look out of place on the set of The Expendables 2. Based on a beefy Ford F-550 Super Duty chassis and available with Ford gas or diesel engines, the Evade is covered in aluminum/steel blend panels for lightness and durability, but it’s still not a featherweight due to the solid stainless steel steering wheel, hinges and running boards. An opulent interior with leather and alcantara seating/trim, 2+2 limousine style seating, laptop trays, three sunroofs and over 400 cubic feet of cabin space so you’ll have plenty of room to air out your velvet lined combat boots and diamond quilted flak jacket. Commercial grade air suspension, 360-degree exterior lighting via joystick operation, FLIR night vision cameras front and rear, and retractable flat screen monitors are also available. The Evade costs $50K less than its fully armored brother, but at over a half a million dollars, it’ll still kick the crap out of your pocketbook. Good thing it at least looks the part.

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